When Michael and Wilfredo settled into their new home in a kid-friendly neighborhood about two and a half years ago, they knew it was time to seriously pursue their dream of becoming parents. Having been together for nearly seven years, they had discussed having children early in their relationship, and now they were ready to take concrete steps.
From the beginning, adoption was their preferred path to parenthood. As Michael explained, “Right off the bat, we knew that adoption was the only avenue that we wanted to go down. We looked at surrogacy, but it wasn’t really for us.” Their recognition that “there’s tons of kids out there that need to get home” solidified their decision to pursue adoption rather than surrogacy.
The couple’s adoption journey wasn’t without obstacles. Their first experience with an adoption agency lasted over a year before hitting a roadblock when the agency lost its accreditation in their state. Even more concerning, the agency they were referred to as a replacement had “a really bad track record with gay couples,” as Michael noted.
Rather than continuing with an agency that didn’t feel right, Michael and Wilfredo decided to “bite the bullet” and move on, even though it meant taking financial losses. This setback was challenging, but after reaching out to a local international adoption agency for advice, Michael and Wilfredo were referred to Courageous Hearts Adoptions (CHA). The timing couldn’t have been more perfect – within a week, Laronda had organized their application packet by recycling materials from their previous agency. Three weeks later, they were matched with a birth mother, and just four months after that, their daughter was home.
The contrast between their previous year-long wait and the whirlwind five months with CHA was stark – as was their experience during and after placement.
When talking about their adoption story, Michael and Wilfredo constantly highlight the exceptional support they received from Courageous Hearts. “Laronda and Marie, who was our birth mom coordinator, kept us updated the whole time. And they were there, like, whenever we had questions – they were just always available.”
This support proved particularly valuable during the emotional days following their daughter’s birth. Michael recalled a moment of uncertainty: “There was a moment where we thought that [the adoption] wasn’t going to happen… [but] Laronda was there on the phone with me, talking to me and just making us feel comfortable and taking that natural level of anxiety down.”
An Open Adoption Approach
The way that Michael and Wilfredo tell their story showcases their commitment to maintaining a positive relationship with their daughter’s birth mother. They followed her lead throughout the process, ensuring she felt supported and had the time she needed with their daughter.
After leaving the hospital, they continued to include her in important moments, like their daughter’s first pediatrician appointment. They maintain contact and recently arranged a visit so the birth mother could spend time with Michael & Wilfredo’s daughter as she grows.
“We plan to continue doing yearly visits at least once a year,” Wilfredo explained. “It’s still pretty good in terms of our communication with the mom and keeping that channel open at all times.”
Michael added, “Before we send pictures, we always ask first. We always send a text, just saying, ‘Hi, how are you doing? Do you want to see any pictures, or would you like to FaceTime?’ Just because, again, we just want to be continually respectful of her and where she is at in the process.”
One aspect of Courageous Hearts that Michael and Wilfredo particularly appreciated was their inclusive approach to presenting prospective parents to birth mothers. Michael explained, “One thing I think is really important for gay couples to know is that Courageous Hearts, they send the birth moms all of the profiles, not just [what they initially request]. Birth moms don’t just say, ‘I want a straight white couple.’ They receive everyone’s profile.”
This approach led to a surprising match with their birth mother, who initially wasn’t considering a same-sex couple. “Our birth mom did not want a gay couple. And then she saw our profile and she didn’t want to see any other profiles,” Michael shared. “She said she only wanted us.”
“It is hard for gay and lesbian couples to be placed, but I feel like [Courageous Hearts Adoptions’] strategy creates an open-mindedness,” he added.
Advice for Future Adoptive Parents
When asked what advice they would give to prospective adoptive parents, Michael emphasized how important it is to be open to the unexpected: “Everyone’s journey is so unique. So it’s hard to not have expectations, but to do your best. Taking care of yourself and your spouse during the process and being supportive in whatever way you know each other needs is so important.”
Despite their “ideal story,” Michael was quick to point out that beyond the perfect timeline, the ongoing support from Courageous Hearts made all the difference. “Laronda still reaches out, and we send her picture updates. She still has really kind things to say to us.”
He concluded with a sentiment that speaks volumes about their experience: “I don’t know where she finds the time, to be honest with you, but she made us feel like we’re the only family they had. We truly felt like a priority the whole time.”
Today, Michael and Wilfredo are enjoying life with their “hilarious” young daughter. Their story is a beautiful picture of parenthood and the results of a family-focused mindset; and their experience is a testament to the fact that finding the right partners in the adoption journey can make a huge difference.
For adoptive parents seeking support or information about adoption, Courageous Hearts Adoptions provides compassionate, judgment-free guidance throughout the journey.
