When Sonya and Mary decided in 2023 that they were ready to pursue adoption, they entered a world that was far more complex than they had anticipated. What followed was a journey marked by heartbreak, hope, and ultimately, the joy of welcoming their son home. Their story illustrates not just the emotional complexity of adoption, but also how the right agency partnership can make all the difference. Recently, they sat down with Courageous Hearts Adoptions to share more about this journey to parenthood.
The Search for the Right Partner
Both lawyers who had been together since 2003, Sonya and Mary approached adoption with the thoughtfulness you might expect from their professional background. “I educated myself very quickly on adoption and adoption agencies and the legitimate ones and the not so legitimate ones,” Sonya explained.
The research process proved more challenging than expected. “We were just… shooting in the dark,” Sonya recalled. “There was a lot of Google searching… and sending out forms for certain agencies [that] turned out to not be agencies, but facilitators, which I learned a lot about.” This process was exhausting, but after countless eliminations and referrals, they found their way to Laronda Southworth at Courageous Hearts. What happened next set the tone for everything that followed.
What Made Courageous Hearts Different
From their very first conversation, Sonya knew they had found something different. “At first contact with [Laronda], she spoke to me at length about the adoption process, and that was even before she knew if we were signing up with Courageous Hearts. She was just so willing to share her knowledge.”
This willingness to educate and support, even before any commitment, stood in stark contrast to their experiences with other organizations. But it wasn’t just Laronda’s professional expertise that made the difference—it was her personal experience with adoption.
“One thing that Laronda did through Sonya was she has some personal experiences with adoption,” Mary noted. “And so I think that helped even just answer some really practical questions that you might have, that you’re not going to see on an agency’s website or on an application.”
This combination of professional competence and personal understanding proved invaluable, especially when it came to addressing sensitive concerns. Mary appreciated being able to ask difficult questions without judgment: “I felt comfortable asking her [any] questions, and she was [always] very understanding.”
The Emotional Rollercoaster
What Sonya and Mary couldn’t have fully prepared for were what Sonya called “the highs and lows” of the adoption process. “The highs are high and wonderful, but the lows are… they’re a bit of a kick.”
Their journey to parenthood included multiple dissolved matches, each devastating in its own way. An early match through Courageous Hearts Adoptions fell through when the birth mother changed her mind. “That was hard. I think for both of us…the wind was taken out of our sails,” Sonya remembered.
Then came what they describe as a “nightmare” experience with a different agency that approached them during this difficult time. The experience was chaotic and traumatic, involving several trips, an abusive boyfriend, poor organization, and two different birth mothers being asked to make decisions while in labor and under the influence of pain medication.
Mary’s week-long ordeal with this agency was particularly harrowing: “I waited… oh, my goodness, 12 hours the first day… didn’t get to even see the baby, talk to anybody, nothing.” The situation was so problematic that she ultimately decided to leave: “I was fine moving on from that experience.”
That agency quickly (within 2 days) presented another birth mother. Sonya flew to Louisiana immediately only to have it fall through just as quickly. Returning home from another failed attempt and standing in the security line at Louis Armstrong Airport, Sonya received the call that would change their lives. “I get a call from Laronda about our son, and she says, I have a baby.”
By this point, Mary was ready to stop the process entirely. “I was like, I’m done… with this process… I’m happy with a baby… I’d be happy without a baby, but I’m not going on these wild goose chases every other week.”
But Sonya felt differently. “I said, third time’s the charm,” she recalled, and her intuition proved correct.
The timeline was compressed—their son was born the morning after Laronda’s call. Despite the quick turnaround, this experience with Courageous Hearts Adoptions was markedly different from their previous encounters with other agencies.
Building Relationships, Not Just Facilitating Transactions
One of the most significant differences they experienced with Courageous Hearts was the agency’s approach to the relationship building between adoptive and birth parents. Rather than treating the adoption as a simple transaction, the agency provided guidance on building genuine, lasting relationships.
“One other shout out to [Courageous Hearts Adoptions] is in coaching us in how to interact with [our child’s] birth mom,” Mary noted. “You know, that it’s a relationship between us and we [can] have a relationship with the birth mom independent of [just] sharing pictures of the child.”
The agency’s approach to terminology was particularly important. As Sonya explained, it was “a combination of Laronda and Marie [who] talked about even the terminology that can be really important… adoption process, parenting a child… choosing… all those things.”
This guidance helped them understand that “it really was important to… for us and the birth parents… to have that relationship independent of [our son], because this is a lifelong relationship and it can’t just be centered around [him]. It has to be all of us.”
The Importance of Open Adoption
Initially, Sonya and Mary had preconceptions about what type of adoption arrangement would work best for them. However, Courageous Hearts helped them understand the benefits of openness.
“Talking with Courageous Hearts and really fleshing out the positives of an open adoption, like a fully open adoption, really made us go, well, this is the best for [our son] and the best for us and the best for the birth mother,” Sonya explained.
This openness has led to a beautiful ongoing relationship. Their birth mother “sent us a Christmas present,” Mary shared. “She’s going back to school [because she’s] very bright… [and plans to study] occupational therapy in a master’s program.”
Advice for Other Families
When asked what they would tell other families considering adoption as a journey to parenthood, both Sonya and Mary emphasized the need for realistic expectations and emotional resilience.
“Adoption is not for the faint of heart. You have to be a little bit thick skinned, prepared for disappointment,” Sonya advised. “You have to… be tough of heart and ready for disappointment… but it’s worth it.”
Mary elaborated on this theme: “You have to be patient and expect that there will be multiple unsuccessful attempts until you find the right match. And it will come. I do believe it will come. You’ll find the right fit for your family.”
She also emphasized the importance of approaching the process with compassion: “I think that you also have to approach it with compassion toward the biological parents, especially the birth mother who bears so much pressure on wanting to do what’s right for her and the child, but also being scrutinized or feeling all these pressures from people who may or may not actually follow through.”
The Difference the Right Agency Makes
Looking back on their journey, the contrast between their experience with Courageous Hearts and other organizations couldn’t be more stark. Where other agencies were disorganized, pushy, or exploitative, Courageous Hearts provided consistent support, education, and genuine care for all parties involved in the adoption process.
“Laronda still reaches out, and we send her picture updates. She still has really kind things to say to us,” Mary noted. “I don’t know where she finds the time, to be honest with you, but she made us feel like we’re the only family they had. We truly felt like a priority the whole time.”
Perhaps most importantly, Courageous Hearts understood that adoption is about building families, not just placing children. Their approach recognizes the lifelong nature of adoption relationships and the need to support not just the legal process, but the emotional and relational aspects that make adoption successful.
Finding Their Family
Today, Sonya and Mary are enjoying life with their son, who has brought joy not just to them but to their entire extended family, including their German Shepherds who now happily receive food “donations” from his high chair. Their story is a testament to the power of persistence, the importance of finding the right support system, and the transformative nature of the right match.
As Sonya reflected, despite all the challenges they faced, “we ended up… with the baby we were meant to have.”
Their journey too parenthood with Courageous Hearts Adoptions illustrates how the right agency doesn’t just facilitate adoptions—it builds lasting relationships, provides education and support, and helps create the foundation for healthy, open adoption relationships that benefit everyone involved, especially the children at the center of it all.
For families considering adoption journey to parenthood, Sonya and Mary’s story serves as both a realistic preview of the challenges ahead and an encouraging reminder that with patience, the right support, and a commitment to building genuine relationships, the journey can lead to the family you’re meant to have.
Sonya and Mary have been called to adopt another child. If you are an expectant or birth parent considering an adoption plan, you can view their profile to learn more about them. Curious about starting your own adoption journey? Contact us for more information.
