At Courageous Hearts Adoptions, we know that adoption can be a beautiful option for families hoping to grow when pregnancy is not possible. We also know that for expecting mothers, adoption can be a deeply emotional and heartbreaking process. At the same time, choosing adoption can lead to unexpected beauty and should be recognized as a selfless, loving choice.
As Emily began learning about her options for her unborn child, she did her own research and came across adoption.
“It [adoption] just felt right the more I learned about it.”
Choosing Adoption
Emily was pregnant with her second child and already parenting her seven-year-old son, Theo. The birth father was no longer in the picture, having left after learning of the pregnancy. Knowing that termination was not an option for her, Emily sought information at her local Women’s Care Center in Indiana and began researching adoption online. That search led her to Courageous Hearts Adoptions and eventually choosing adoption.
Emily’s first connection was with Birth Mother Case Manager Marie. Reflecting on those early conversations, Emily shared:
“Our first phone convo, she gave me all this information and kindness. And was so
unbiased. [Marie] shared her story and experience in adoption. It felt calming.”
What stood out most to Emily was that Marie checked in weekly—simply to see how she was doing.
“I felt like I wasn’t just growing a baby to give away.”
At Courageous Hearts Adoptions, adoption is never treated as a transaction. Our social workers strive to provide emotional support, education, and care for all those navigating this journey.
Making the Match
Emily considers herself fortunate to have found the right adoptive family for her child. As she reviewed waiting family profiles, she made pros-and-cons lists and reflected deeply on what she wanted for her baby’s future. It was important to her that her child be raised in a family that was open about religion and supportive of allowing the child to make their own religious choices when they were old enough to understand. Above all, she wanted unconditional love for her child.
None of the profiles felt quite right—until she came across Katie and Zac.
“Their love for Halloween. It’s my favorite holiday. And them speaking about being open religiously.”
After speaking with them on the phone, Emily knew this was the right fit. Meeting them in person that summer further confirmed her decision.
“They felt like family,” she said. “They felt like missing pieces of me.”
A Heavy Decision
Despite her confidence in the match, Emily choosing adoption carried many anxieties throughout the pregnancy and adoption process. She worried about her child’s health, particularly because she did not have access to the birth father’s family medical history. She feared placing her child into an unsafe situation and wrestled with the grief of missing everyday moments with her baby.
She also worried about the opinions of others—how people at work might react, what they would think, and how she would explain her decision. Another fear weighed heavily on her mind: what if, after leaving the hospital, the adoptive family decided not to maintain an open adoption?
As Emily got to know Katie and Zac, those fears began to ease.
“I’ve never felt more confident about something in my life,” Emily reflected.
One of Emily’s earliest concerns was whether the birth father might re-enter her life and disrupt the adoption before it was finalized. She feared that he could hurt the process and “ruined everything for them.” Emily deeply wanted the adoption to succeed—for Katie and Zac and for the child they longed to love.
Emily leaned heavily on her family during this time. Her mother was immediately supportive and remained by her side throughout the journey. Her father was initially hesitant, but after Ivy was born and he met Katie and Zac, his feelings changed.
He was relieved, Emily shared, because of how “beautiful they are as people.” Today, Emily is grateful that her parents supported her without selfishness and that her father shares a meaningful bond with Katie and Zac as well.
Why Open Adoption Matters
Open adoption is deeply important to Emily.
“Because I love my baby.”
She explained, “I felt that she was my baby. So I want to know her as she grows up. I want to see that and be involved, as much as I should be involved. And I don’t want Ivy to feel like I abandoned her or didn’t want her. I don’t want her to think she wasn’t good enough, especially having a son already.”
Talking to Theo about adoption was difficult, but Emily knew it was necessary. She felt it was important for him to meet Katie and Zac and to hold Ivy, so he could understand what adoption meant in real life—not as an abstract idea.
Theo knows he has a sister, and as he grows older, Emily knows those conversations will deepen. She wants him to understand that this decision was made with care and intention. While she has no expectations, she hopes that Theo and Ivy may one day share a relationship, allowing that bond to grow naturally.
Emily understands that maintaining openness ultimately rests with the adoptive parents, and she places her trust in Katie and Zac.
An Emotional Journey
Emily is open about the emotional weight of adoption. She was grateful to hold Ivy first and walk out of the operating room with her, but the hardest moment came when she had to say goodbye.
“She was so beautiful. I fell in love with her and loved her so much.”
Seeing Katie and Zac hold Ivy for the first time affirmed her decision. Now that they are home together in Georgia, Emily shared:
“It just feels like my big sister had a baby in a way.”
To care for her mental health, Emily spends time outdoors and leans on her mother for support. Some days are harder than others. Since the adoption, she has moved into her own place and adopted a cat.
While Courageous Hearts offers continued post-adoption resources, Emily shared that she does not personally feel the need to use them at this time. Marie continues to check in with her regularly.
Advice for Expecting Parents Considering Adoption
For those thinking of choosing adoption, Emily encourages them to ask questions and gather as much information as possible.
“It’s such a scary thing. And after you leave the hospital it’s out of your control and that’s scary to think about. So ask questions and get to know the family. That’s the most important part, especially during an open adoption. That way you know that you’re making the right decision.”
“It’s About Their Family”
When Emily thinks about Ivy’s future, her hopes are simple.
“It would be cool to see her go to college and do better than me. I hope for her that she does good things. As long as she’s happy is all that matters.”
When asked about Katie and Zac, Emily said it’s hard for her to think about herself in this situation. She just truly wants things to be about their story and their happy ending because “they’ve gone through some really hard times.”
Katie and Zac provided us with their adoption journey story which can be read HERE.
Courageous Hearts Adoptions is deeply grateful to Emily for sharing her story and perspective. We know adoption is not an easy decision for expecting and birth mothers, and we are committed to helping individuals explore their options with compassion and clarity.
We provide 24/7 support, encourage open adoption, offer access to vetted waiting families, and provide lifetime counseling for birth mothers at every stage of healing. We hope to walk alongside you so that you are never alone. LEARN MORE
You can also explore support groups through BraveLove’s directory.If you have questions about placing your child for adoption we encourage you to contact us. You can also call or text anytime to speak confidentially with an adoption counselor: (317) 964-3365.
